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by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Series: Holly's Round Seven H/C Bingo Card [23]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 01:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8183540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: Five years ago, Leonard made a decision. Now, with Jim unconscious on his table, that decision comes back to haunt him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'ed. Written for H/C Bingo Round 7.

When Jim's chart shows up on his PADD during a shift five years to the day since the last time Leonard saw him, Leonard almost feels bad. Almost. But then his bad knee twinges and he remembers why he said no to another five-year mission. Because as much as Jim means to him--and he really does mean the world to Leonard--Leonard also knows that he is well past his prime, and that there are plenty of doctors that are much better equipped for a long tenure in space. D'alava K'shnian was one of them.

Or so Leonard had thought. Turns out he was very, very wrong.

Because when Leonard walks in the door, Jim isn't just sick. He's unconscious on the biobed in front of him. Leonard feels his heart drop into his stomach at the sight, because from the looks of the deterioration in his muscle mass, this isn't a new development.

Leonard almost walks right back out of the room the second he realizes that, though whether to turn in his badge for the day or to find Doctor K'shnian to give her a piece of his mind, he isn't sure. Leonard glances down at the chart on his PADD with a new understanding, seeing past all the familiar superficial contents to the nitty gritty that tells him just how bad this really is. He isn't sure whether he should be relieved or enraged that Jim's been unconscious for the better part of three months--relieved that it isn't longer, enraged that he had to be put under at all--spending almost the entirety of that tenure in an induced coma.

Leonard swallows, swiping across the PADD to examine the next section of the chart.

Words jump out at him, words he should know-- _cranial hypertension_ and _intracranial pressure_ \--but he can't discern the meaning of any of them, each one a more jumbled, incomprehensible mess of letters than the last. All he can really understand is the fact that Jim is lying on his table, unconscious, and for all that he knows rationally it's not true, he can't help but feel that he's only like this because Leonard didn't go on the latest five-year mission with them. It's irrational and self-centered and just plain false, but there's something to be said for how well Leonard knows Jim and how easily he might have been able to prevent this. A reminder about an epipen, a caution against a ground mission, whatever it is that caused it, Leonard may have been able to prevent it. He may not have, just as Doctor K'shnian apparently couldn't, but maybe--

Leonard's tired of maybes.

Even so, for the first time in five years, Leonard takes a chart home with him at the end of the day.

\----

_The PADD drops like a stone onto Bones' desk. He doesn't even need to read the words on the screen to know what it says._

_"What the fuck is this?"_

_Jim's voice is colder than Bones has heard it in years, and it cuts him to the quick, but he stands firm. "Exactly what it looks like, Jim."_

_"You promised me, Bones."_

_"I promised you this, Jim. I didn't promise anything else."_

_"You promised you wouldn't leave me."_

_Bones looks up at him, startled. It was a promise to a hurting, drunken man almost fifteen years ago, meant as nothing more than a temporary balm. He'd thought Jim would have forgotten._

_Bones swallows, staring up at the man that can break him._

_It takes all his strength not to reach for his bad knee when he speaks his next carefully chosen words. "I'll stay if you ask me to, Jim. If that's what you want."_

_Jim's face goes white and his lips thin for a dangerous moment before he spits out a harsh "Don't patronize me." Then he's snatching the PADD back off Bones' desk and storms out of the room._

\----

They'd barely spoken for the remainder of the mission. Leonard still remembers the way the thick tension all but choked him every time he stepped onto the bridge, the way he stopped making excuses to visit Jim, the way he felt like he'd lost more than just his position as a result of his resignation.

He felt like he'd lost his best friend.

But they've both always been stubborn men, set in their ways. It had always been the case that any time Leonard had set his boundaries it had taken Jim's constant, Herculean efforts to overcome them, and this time such effort was not forthcoming. Leonard had helped Spock to pick the ship's next CMO, and when M'Benga had declined, Doctor K'shnian had been the obvious second choice. Bones had grilled her on everything and everyone on the ship until he had been sure she would do an admirable job.

He supposes, as he walks into work the day after Jim's admission, that keeping the captain functioning for all but the last three months is, perhaps, as admirable a job as one could expect from someone that hadn't lived in Jim's pockets for three years prior to joining his crew.

Leonard makes it a priority to stop by Jim's room as early in the day as he can manage. His fingers trail over the sheets on the biobed, exhausted and pensive. Then he looks Jim in the eye, and makes the promise he should have made years ago.

"I have other patients, Jim. You're not my only responsibility anymore. But I swear, every minute I can spare, every second that I don't spend working or sleeping, I'll be here, finding a way to help you. You may not be my captain, but you will always, always be my friend." Cautiously, and against his better judgment, Leonard leans in and presses a kiss to Jim's forehead. It settles an ache that he hadn't even realized was present in his chest. "I swear to you, I'll be here when you wake. And should you ask, I would be proud to stand by your side again. Whatever you ask, I shall willingly give. Just come back to me, Jim.

"Come back."

**Author's Note:**

> [Come hang with me on tumblr!](http://hollyandvice.tumblr.com/)


End file.
